A Greater Truth.

When I think about what has been happening in the past few months I find myself dazed in a sort of wonderment and awe. So many good and wonderful things have been blossoming, and with it, as one might expect, challenges. I am finally at the point in my life that I have been dreaming about since I was a little girl. I get to marry a kind, loving man.

I've always wanted to explore and discover the world with a man like this.

So why does it feel like I am facing a war at times? The question seems silly until I begin to think about what exactly I am faced with everyday-- this world. Christ tells us that we are not of this world. This is becoming more and more of a reality to me with every day.

Since John and I have been engaged, I've witnessed some pretty amazing things..

One woman at work who I am very fond of, began to comment on our engagement picture hanging on the bulletin board at work when, halfway through, her eyes filled with tears as she finished telling me how wonderful we looked together and how great it all was...

At a Christmas party the other night, another coworker walked up to John and I and congratulated us and then went on to tell us how excited she was for our decision...

At work a day later, TWO more ladies randomly stated, "You know, I just have a feeling you two are going to have a wonderful marriage. I don't know how I can tell, but I just have a good feeling about you two."

I'm awe-struck.

It's amazing to me the impact that this news can have on people.

And of course I've received opposite reactions..

Many broken people (aren't we all) are quick to tell me the pitfalls to avoid, and even to avoid the whole thing altogether. It's so natural for us to give advice based on our own experience-good or bad.

I have to tell you, what melts my heart is when people from broken homes can recognize a good thing in others (us). Two of the women I mentioned earlier are these.

Through these everyday observations and though the book we are going through for pre-marital counseling, I have recognized a great thing--

Getting married is about much more than John and I. It points to a greater Truth.

As He is in everything else, He will be in our marriage. In fact, it is the greatest testament of His love for us.

"Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her."

-Ephesians 5:25

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the Church."

-Ephesians 5:31-32

This is about far more than me.

My favorite part of our pre-marital book "This Momentary Marriage" by John Piper is when he explains the act of Jesus as He washes His disciples feet. He explains that this was Jesus's way of showing us how we ought to love one another-through serving. Then Piper goes on to explain that there was no doubt in the room of who the leader was during that moment...

There is no better way for me to showcase God's love for us than to attempt to love John the way that He loves me. For this, I continually have to look to Him.

In doing so, I have realized more great truths.

I don't have to have my life figured out yet, and maybe never.

I desire to become an Occupational Therapist. It's not happening this year, but maybe next year. All that I know is my heart goes out to people who are in need.

In the meantime, can I not serve people the way that my heart has been called to this whole time??? What is the worth of a great career if I forget how to love my neighbor?

In the same way, Jesus has been showing me the grace of a peaceful mind.

"For God has not given us a Spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

-2 Timothy 1:7

So what do I have to fear? Never succeeding? What is true success anyway?

These are the thoughts that try to pervade my mind with worry and doubt when I think about the future. But the truth is, my future sets peacefully with Him.

Do you see how He is rocking my world?!?!

A bit of Thanks.

In time spent away from the craziness of everyday life (and in light of this past Holiday), I have remembered the importance of a thankful heart.

Everyone possesses the power to embrace what they have or to wish for something more.

I am convinced the first is far superior.

So.. in case you are curious, here's what I am most thankful for..

The beauty of the fall season

The reason to make time for enjoyment of family and friends

Holiday treats-- yummy hot drinks, scented candles, beautiful music, and delightful foods

The warm, cozy feeling of being sheltered from the harsh, cold weather outside

The contagious merriment in the streets and community

Our Church, and the restoration it invites into our lives

The man who continues to love me despite my flawed self

The pleasure of giving love

And most of all (you guessed it), the Prince of Peace that calms my heart, and gives joy abundantly

Oh, and I can't forget the awesome pajamas that get pulled out this time of year!

I hope you all are enjoying this time as much as I am!

Awesomely awkward..

I feel no inspiration to write about touching and lovely things today, although I feel like I should considering it was indeed a lovely day today.. Instead I've decided to share some interesting photos, to say the least, with the intent of helping you crack a smile..

Enjoy!

Ben, contemplating the cheesy goodness that he is about to experience.

Oh.. that's cute John.

Aladdin? Is that you?!

Friends.. meet Harry.

This is my Grandpa; he laughs heartily.

..you decide.

For some reason Brian is reminding me of an excited turtle... ?

Scratch that.

Hey guys, sheeee's the pregnant one, not me.

.. But I wonder what I would look like...?

It's lights out for this lady!!

(catch the black eye?)

Cute Vaughn :))

(Hopefully you don't read my blog..)

The results of using Axe body spray for men..

missing Manhattan.

Something about autumn has aroused a longing for my small, friendly college town: Manhattan, Kansas. Today it was down in the fifties and all day long I have been thinking about the small things that I miss about that place...

I miss my walks; to class, around town, and to work.

picking up beautiful red, golden and orange leaves to arrange on my dresser..

..taking pictures of anything pretty..

I miss my job as a barista at the best coffee shop in town:

Bluestem Bistro.

grilling with these cats, and serving delicious food..

.

taking shots of espresso just for fun..

I miss the patio and its stringed lights and the way it made you want to stay outside until your fingers became numb from the cold.

hanging, drinking coffee or wine, listening to live music, conversing about anything interesting...

..and the crazy regulars that accompanied me..

I miss the park.

..reading a book or just relaxing with good friends..

I miss Aggieville.

..Mae's, Kat House, O'Malley's..

I miss Rock-A-Belly.

..and all of the memories from that place..

You can't go back to a place and expect it to be the same. But you can blog about it so that you always keep those memories alive.. :)

Manhattan is a truly wonderful place.

Jonsi

Finally!! We got to see a concert in Austin!!! Thanks to a buddy of John's, we scored last-minute tickets to see Jonsi, the lead singer of Sigur Ros.

His voice could cut glass. It was so unique and beautiful. Some of the songs remind me of sounds that I could only dream about hearing in Heaven.

It was an awesome spectacle...

With each song he incorporated videos that helped you visualize the story of the music.

My absolute favorite part of the show was when they did this...

They all got on different instruments: xylophone, percussion, drums, keyboard, and other knick-nack paddy whacks--and rocked my socks off.

It was a symphony of beautiful noises, all unique and yet all contributing to the power of the song.

Here's a little clip of part of it to give you an idea. It gets fuzzy in the middle, but the beginning is pretty great.

One of the best things about the show was that you couldn't understand the words to the songs.

I delighted in this for two reasons:

1. It forced us to focus on his rhythms and tones in order to discern the meanings of his songs.

2. Nobody could sing along! Although it is impossible for anyone to have Jonsi's heavenly voice, I know that if his words were in English instead of Icelandic, people would try anyway..

One of the guitarists was all smiles. He could not help but love what he was doing.

It reminded me of a simple truth: enjoy the little things.

Although he was performing in front of hundreds, he couldn't take himself too seriously..

Whether you are enjoying the warmth of the sun on a cool, breezy fall day- the company of a fun co-worker- or the first sip of coffee in the wee early hours of the morning..

take the time to enjoy what you are doing :)

It was a great first concert.

And now I am excited for the next ones (whatever they may be)!

storytime :)

Okay, I'm ready to spill the story..

October 9, 2010

John had been talking about taking me out to a nice place for dinner for a couple of weeks, so I didn't suspect much, but was still particularly excited to go out together this Saturday evening. After work, we got freshened up and ready to go to a place downtown called the Paggi House. It was a delightful dinner. We enjoyed talking about anything and everything, reminding me of the first few times that we went out together in Manhattan's famous Aggieville.. We were on a pretty balcony with a veiw of downtown Austin. I remember noticing an older couple walking in holding hands, and telling John how great a testament to love I thought it was.

After filling our bellies with yummy entrees, John informed me that it was time to go on a walk. The sun was beginning to set, so we were quickly onto our next adventure. Paggi House was conveniently located near Lady Bird Lake, so we set off down the sidewalk. A few minutes into the walk, I felt compelled to jump onto a nearby stone wall and pull him in for a kiss.. my first clue was the way he hastened the kiss and encouraged me to keep walking, as it was getting dark.

A little furthur down the walk, John began leading me into an open grassy field. It was dusk now, and the city of Austin was glowing behind the trees lining the lake.

I awkwardly asked him what we were doing and he replied with a silly, "I just like walking in fields." (clue number 2).

The next moments felt like slow motion. He asked me to read aloud from a small compostition book in which he wrote things to me that melted my heart, the way only he has done. I stumbled through the words, partly because it was hard to read with only the glow of the city, and partly because I was trying to grasp what was happening right before me. He anxiously and patiently waited for me to come to the last line which read, "Will you marry me?" Now down on his knee, he looked at me and waited for my response, which I could not do fast enough.

Without furthur thought, I half-whimpered, half-proclaimed, "Yes.. a thousand times yes," as I jumped onto him. Knees shaking, he picked me up and told me that he wanted to be that old couple holding hands. The tears came when he slid the ring onto my finger.

The rest of the night was filled with celebration, and me letting everyone in the city of Austin know that we were engaged!! We went downtown for a couple drinks and I delighted in tellng complete strangers the good news. I yelled out my car window, and even stuck my head out of the moon roof at a stoplight. People honked and cheered and yelled congratulations to us. I rememeber thinking.. "See, people do believe in love" (A statement that I have questioned multiple times thoughout life).

Now that you know the story, you should know how I feel about this. It is earth-shattering, crazy, bold, scary, exhilerating, and glorious all at once. I feel like I know what I'm getting into, but at the same time, have no idea.

I feel extremely blessed to be engaged to a wonderful man, that I am so excited to marry.

I look forward to experiencing our joys and sorrows together, our happy times and not-so-happy times, but most of all, I look forward to love. A love that continuously grows through sunny days and stormy weather. I look forward to God's revelation of Grace and Truth in our lives. I am excited to know the ways in which He changes us together and utilizes us for His kingdom.

May He reign in this marriage.

I can't wait to grow together, challenge each other, and continually push each other toward greater things. I am so incredibly blessed.

Our Lord is so good.

I love you John Churchill!

Beginnings

How do I start this one? ... alright, IM ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me just say...

But I must admit, when I think about what has to happen in the next few months I feel a little bit like this guy..

I'm just hoping that when it comes down to the wire I don't end up like this guy (look closely)..

More to come.. :)

fa-la-la-la-la.. fall!!

So the other day it happened.

I felt the crisp air, and breathed in the sweet scent of fall. Oh yes, I unknowingly stepped into a brand new season, and my whole being became refreshed. You know when you walk into Mom's kitchen and smell that same scent of baking cookies that you did as a child? .. and all of the sudden you remember the feelings of eagerly awaiting the taste of that sweet chocolate cookie dough, and smile..?

Well, this was one of those kinds of memories. As I walked into the brisk Texas morning, my body sensed a new beginning; one that made me excited for candy corns, pumpkins, wind breakers, colored leaves, and cool daytime walks. In an instant, I knew fall was here, and my day was made. And although I am in Texas now, this weather constantly reminds me of Kansas: the big golden, orange and fire red leaves, their rustling sound in the cool breeze, and the way a cool gust of wind can provoke immediate goosebumps throughout your entire body. Kansas falls were the best. Everyone pulled out their favorite sweaters to celebrate its beginning, and customers at the coffee shop I worked at began ordering pumpkin chai lattes and hot chocolates instead of italian sodas and iced coffees. Oh the memories. For some reason I think last fall was one of the best falls I've ever experienced. It may be partially due to the fact that I met John and became increasingly intrigued by his growing beard and love for the cold. I was always nervous and excited when he would walk in and order just a plain black coffee and then sit outside on the porch to study..

Yes I have great memories of last fall, and I am sure this fall will be just as special. I am already looking forward to hay rides and warm drinks.

In memory of last fall here are a few pictures I took in the streets of Manhattan almost exactly a year ago. Enjoy!

Soaking it in

I have been soaking in the message of the Cross lately. I have always known that it was a big part of the Christian faith, but I never really, hard as I tried, could grasp the meaning and importance of it. Of course, I know that Jesus died on it, defeating sin and everything wrong in the world, and then rose, defeating death itself. That is a huge deal, but how could I apply this to my life; besides knowing that I am forgiven and have been given new life?

I overlooked one of the most beautiful parts of that last sentence:

New Life.

We have been given a new life. A life where no sin, no evil, no fear, no trouble.. nothing can tear us down. Hard to grasp? Hell yeah! (pardon the expression). We have been given "a peace that transcends all understanding.."-Philippians 4:7. We don't have to know the answers. We don't even have to know the questions. We are perfected by faith. I am constantly trying to find answers to my own questions. And when it comes to life, I just can't find them. But isn't that the beauty of faith? We have the power to be joyful always!

I have another one for you. I have been learning about maybe the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Surrender.

When I truly close my mind and open my heart, there is a flood of hope and joy that consumes me. What do I have to worry about? He tells us to, "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."-Matthew 6:28-29. It is amazing what happens when we give up, when we surrender all of our efforts to Him. This morning I heard a line from a worship song that really struck me.

It said something like, "I never knew surrender could feel so free."

Well, amen to that.

A Beautiful Noise

It's been a while..

Let me start by saying.. you should listen to Band of Horses (seriously).

I just recently discovered their talent, and must say, it is not shy of great.

I am delighted by their powerful yet clear sounds of harmony and melody;

harmony being something that, when perfected, gives me goosebumps.

There are so many good ones but here's a link to check out a fav of mine (listen to all of it):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1e70tMHjD4&feature=related

Sounds like these make me excited for Heaven because I imagine that I will be a part of this perfect chorus that fills your entire being with joy through song.

...In reflection of the past couple of months, I will simply say.. HALLELUJAH.

He has led me into some wonderful things.

A wonderful family, great friends, an amazing boyfriend, a new and awesome job, and the gentle reminder that He has great things planned ahead.

I feel the Glory of God where I work, (how many people can say that?) and am half-way convinced that our 50-some year old dishwasher from England, is an angel.

Oh if I could only have the peace that woman does!

He is transforming my heart from the inside-out, and I must say it has not been an easy process.. but what great things come easily?

I came across this verse today:

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us."

--Romans 5:3-5

I have had some serious growing pains this summer, but it is all so worth it.

One thing I love out here is the open sky. At night, I feel like I can see to the end of the Earth.

I am so blessed.

...That is all for tonight, sweet dreams.

Thursday eve

Last week I worked my first Thursday night.

We have a special dinner, an open-mic and you can bring your own beverages.

I was so glad to see that my family came the first night with a couple friends to spend the evening relaxing and enjoying the music.

I will like these nights. Everyone at "Thyme and Dough" is relaxed and genuinely friendly. I have an alternate family here. 

Last Saturday I worked my first Farmer's Market. It was pretty simple, but I liked the community and the chance to relax in the shade on a hot day.

I am loving it here, but can't help but miss Manhattan and all of the people that made it my home-- you know who you are.

I am realizing that while I miss the simplicity and comfort of Manhattan, my favorite places to hang-out and socialize, and my dear friends, I am constantly making memories and to only focus on my past memories will cause me miss out on the memories that I am making right now.

I find it easy to look back and miss something that I no longer have, but am convinced that a key element to happiness is to realize the blessings that I have now.

And He is not frugal in providing these.

Home Life.

The Texas life, is a good one.

I get to hang out with my 9 year old cousin, Hailey, go for walks with my Aunt Tammy in the mornings, and drink a beer with my Uncle Kevin in the evenings. 

Besides that, I have a little friend Dilly who keeps me company most of the time. 

On our walk this morning, we saw several deer, including two little fawns. We like to chat while we walk the dogs and get some exercise ourselves. Hailey just got a new bike so I'm sure she will be leaving us in the dust. After our walks, Tammy and I drink our morning coffee to start our day.. I could get used to this.

While the fam was gone on a trip I got to take care of all of the critters which included 6 chickens. Five of them are laying right now so I get to eat fresh, tasty eggs every morning. 

One thing that I've noticed is that Texas has beautiful sunsets just like Kansas. I've learned that the State color (orange) comes from its beautiful orange sunsets, which I just witnessed the other night.

I feel like I am making myself at home and enjoying every minute of it!

"Rolling in Thyme and Dough"

Good news...

I got a job!!

And it is awe-some.

The place is called "Rolling in Thyme and Dough," and it is a bakery/cafe made out of an old house! They have a small nursery out front and a large deck for more seating. They serve an abundance of delicious pastries, breads, and a full breakfast and lunch menu.

I am very excited to start.

So far I have had one day of training and left the place with a huge smile. The head baker and owner is from Belgium and the dishwasher from England, and in my opinion, they give the bakery even more flavor.

Thursday nights are open-mic nights, and bring your own beer/wine.

Fabienne, the master baker and chef, hosts cooking classes once a month.

Everyone who works here is so sweet.

I will probably never leave without having some kind of delightful sandwich or treat-- because it's just so dang good.

A home away from home.

Wow, here I am. This place is hot, humid and wonderful. I am settling into Austin, Texas and enjoying every minute of it. Okay, let's be honest, it's an adjustment, but I feel lucky and excited to be here.

I first visited John in Fort Worth before arriving here a couple days ago. I met his brother and sister-in-law, as well as their two cute little girls. 

We relaxed at a local coffee shop there, that looked like it came straight from Europe, and we walked around the outdoor shopping areas. It was an enjoyable time.

On Saturday, we arrived in Austin and got to hang out with my Aunt and Uncle and family. Saturday night, John and I explored 6th street and got a small taste of its craziness. Everywhere you turn, their is live music resonating to the outdoors. Every place we went was different, and as the night went on, they blocked off the street to allow the free walk of pedestrians. I think I will like it down there. Not to mention, before 11pm, the drinks were cheap (1 to 2 bucks)!

On Sunday, my Aunt (Tammy) took me around to meet their super friendly neighbors- Allison and Arno. Many people here have their own recording studio, these particular neighbors included. I like the area, and the fact that everyone has a pool! My Aunt and Uncle have dogs, chickens, and a few fruit/vegetable plants. These things make me feel more at home. The deer in the area help too. I think that Tammy and I will start walking in the mornings, around their pretty and spread-out development. 

Today was an especially good day because... I got a job! I literally just walked right into it! It was the first place that I asked for an application from, and it turned out that they were in desperate need of hiring and since I had the experience I needed, I'm starting on Thursday! The place is called "Thyme and Dough." It is a small bakery/cafe that is located in an old home. Apparently, they make delicious sandwiches and great bakery items. I tried a chocolate-pecan scone and can definitely can agree! The owner is from France and they host cooking classes. On Thursday nights they have open-mic night and a special dinner. I am looking forward to starting!

Also this month, I will begin shadowing an Occupational Therapist. I feel as though God knew my needs, and just simply put these blessings in my lap. I couldn't ask for more!