Be Here Now.

Life is a funny thing.

Constantly changing.

Sometimes I feel as though once I've comfortably set both feet on the ground, life shifts and I am suddenly propelled into a new stage of life.

This is not however, a bad thing. Without change, we would not grow or develop more fully, into the person that Jesus calls us to be--- (more like Him).

I have always been a dreamer... always anticipating the next big thing.

I remember being 12 years old, earnestly praying for my future husband and asking God to give him a kiss for me (I will never claim to be normal). Later, in high school, all I wanted was a high school sweetheart. Oh how I wanted this and thought that life would be so grand with a pretty boy in it!

If you took a peek into the journals I kept all through high school and even college, you would see that I was constantly concerned about a different guy. Thankfully, throughout college, you would begin to see me surrender my fleeting concerns to Jesus. Slowly, but surely.

But the truth is, I had it good. I had amazing friends, girls and guys; and although I chased after the thought of a high school sweetheart, I was totally happy.

I have so many fond memories from college. I think the best were the ones that I took a moment to really appreciate and savour. I remember sipping a hot cup of joe on the porch of my favorite coffee shop in Manhattan on a cool morning, when all was silent except for the soft jazz music and excited chatter of the birds. Those were the times. Times to really soak up.

But here's the thing, I continue to have those moments. Simple moments that suddenly fill my whole being with joy. I love walking into the lunch kitchen at work and seeing gorgeous freshly washed veggies on the cutting board. The way the sunlight hits them is perfection. In Costa Rica, I would just sit along the beach and try to capture the sound of the great waves crashing onto the boulders lining the shore. I wanted to hear them forever.

I think it is tempting to look back and yearn for certain things that you had when life seemed so good, or yearn for "that thing" that will make your life so much better. But the truth is that there are always new blessings around you, to savour, enjoy, and remember; and the trick is to not let them simply pass you by.

Life is good when we simply take a moment to appreciate it.

Sheldon Vanauken says it well in his book "A Severe Mercy,"

"To be in love, as to see beauty, is a kind of adoring that turns the lover away from self."

We live in a beautiful world.

...

Be here now. We will never be in this place in life again, and if we look around, we probably have it pretty good, even great. I am learning that no matter how many wonderful memories I have in the past, I have even more ahead of me. My challenge to myself, is to live it up, because soon life will change again.

Finnnally

Right now in Austin, TX it is a cozy 25 degrees. Tonight the low is 18, and guess what... we are expecting snow on Thursday!!! Of course, here that means a few scattered flurries. But nonetheless, restaurants and businesses will close in anticipation and fear.

I can't help but laugh inwardly just a tiny bit when I see these cold-blooded Texans react to the inclimate weather..

I think there is a unique anxiety that they embody when the forecast is under 45 degrees..

But, I'm happy! And yes, now I can wear my cute furry eskimo boots without looking like a total idiot.

Yaah cold!!

The past couple mornings and evenings I have been thrown off by those wonderful melodies that are bird songs. Every time I hear these sweet and energetic sounds, I get an excited chill that runs through my body in anticipation of spring. The confusing part is, it's January, it's in the sixties, and I feel like we've passed winter all together.

Part of me still wants to be snowed in, watching big fluffy snow flakes fall to the ground. Drinking hot chocolate and bundling up for the cold, I want to feel my winter! While at work the other morning, I stopped everything when I heard what I previously thought impossible.. birds singing in the middle of winter! Sure enough, they were those energetic songs that I normally start to hear in March or April in the Kansas homeland. I look forward to these sounds every year and apparently I don't have to wait long here.. This may sound silly, but my whole system feels thrown off due to the lack of snow and all of the experiences that come with it.

I don't even get to wear my cute eskimo coat or furry boots this year..

However, I must say, it is nice to be able to go for an evening stroll without freezing to death.. I'll give Texas that.

happy pursuits.

I have never been a big fan of new year's resolutions. Maybe because I know that by making something a goal, it becomes a duty to me instead of a simple joy in life.

Sad? Maybe.

However, in thinking about the upcoming year, there are so many things that I would like to strive for. Things that I want to pursue. No pass or fail, just pursuit.

So, here they are:

1. I'd like to learn how to make yummy gooey scratch-made delights (you know, things that take half the day to make), such as homemade cinnamon rolls.

2. I want to get back into riding. I miss the unique freedom that comes solely from being on the back of a horse (yes I've read many Saddle Club books in my day)..

3. I want to work with disabled children again. Last summer I worked with some very awesome kids at a therapeutic riding center in Manhattan. I'd love to do it again.

4. I would like to donate more of my time and effort toward our Church. I'm not sure what this one exactly looks like but the desire is there.

5. I'd like to practice the piano and build on my skills (that are very rough right now might I add).

6. I'd also like to paint. This has been something I've daydreamed about being able to enjoy and explore, but have not ever had the confidence to actually try.

7. This one is an on-going battle, but I'd like being active (like dripping sweat), to become a more normal part of life-- maybe it will be since I am soon to be married.. :)

(couldn't resist)

8. And finally, learn a new trade. My only real trade right now is making a good coffee drink, and I'd like to learn something else even if it isn't related to OT.. maybe massage??

That's all!!

Happy 2011!!!

Hmm..

Today, an older, happy gentleman walked up to the register and out of no where said, "I'll tell you my secrets to living a good life. They apply to all aspects of life; relationships and everything else.. It's three things..

simplify. focus. and do the right thing."

He then went on to say that most people never get past the first part..

I thought it was interesting..

A Greater Truth.

When I think about what has been happening in the past few months I find myself dazed in a sort of wonderment and awe. So many good and wonderful things have been blossoming, and with it, as one might expect, challenges. I am finally at the point in my life that I have been dreaming about since I was a little girl. I get to marry a kind, loving man.

I've always wanted to explore and discover the world with a man like this.

So why does it feel like I am facing a war at times? The question seems silly until I begin to think about what exactly I am faced with everyday-- this world. Christ tells us that we are not of this world. This is becoming more and more of a reality to me with every day.

Since John and I have been engaged, I've witnessed some pretty amazing things..

One woman at work who I am very fond of, began to comment on our engagement picture hanging on the bulletin board at work when, halfway through, her eyes filled with tears as she finished telling me how wonderful we looked together and how great it all was...

At a Christmas party the other night, another coworker walked up to John and I and congratulated us and then went on to tell us how excited she was for our decision...

At work a day later, TWO more ladies randomly stated, "You know, I just have a feeling you two are going to have a wonderful marriage. I don't know how I can tell, but I just have a good feeling about you two."

I'm awe-struck.

It's amazing to me the impact that this news can have on people.

And of course I've received opposite reactions..

Many broken people (aren't we all) are quick to tell me the pitfalls to avoid, and even to avoid the whole thing altogether. It's so natural for us to give advice based on our own experience-good or bad.

I have to tell you, what melts my heart is when people from broken homes can recognize a good thing in others (us). Two of the women I mentioned earlier are these.

Through these everyday observations and though the book we are going through for pre-marital counseling, I have recognized a great thing--

Getting married is about much more than John and I. It points to a greater Truth.

As He is in everything else, He will be in our marriage. In fact, it is the greatest testament of His love for us.

"Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her."

-Ephesians 5:25

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the Church."

-Ephesians 5:31-32

This is about far more than me.

My favorite part of our pre-marital book "This Momentary Marriage" by John Piper is when he explains the act of Jesus as He washes His disciples feet. He explains that this was Jesus's way of showing us how we ought to love one another-through serving. Then Piper goes on to explain that there was no doubt in the room of who the leader was during that moment...

There is no better way for me to showcase God's love for us than to attempt to love John the way that He loves me. For this, I continually have to look to Him.

In doing so, I have realized more great truths.

I don't have to have my life figured out yet, and maybe never.

I desire to become an Occupational Therapist. It's not happening this year, but maybe next year. All that I know is my heart goes out to people who are in need.

In the meantime, can I not serve people the way that my heart has been called to this whole time??? What is the worth of a great career if I forget how to love my neighbor?

In the same way, Jesus has been showing me the grace of a peaceful mind.

"For God has not given us a Spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

-2 Timothy 1:7

So what do I have to fear? Never succeeding? What is true success anyway?

These are the thoughts that try to pervade my mind with worry and doubt when I think about the future. But the truth is, my future sets peacefully with Him.

Do you see how He is rocking my world?!?!

A bit of Thanks.

In time spent away from the craziness of everyday life (and in light of this past Holiday), I have remembered the importance of a thankful heart.

Everyone possesses the power to embrace what they have or to wish for something more.

I am convinced the first is far superior.

So.. in case you are curious, here's what I am most thankful for..

The beauty of the fall season

The reason to make time for enjoyment of family and friends

Holiday treats-- yummy hot drinks, scented candles, beautiful music, and delightful foods

The warm, cozy feeling of being sheltered from the harsh, cold weather outside

The contagious merriment in the streets and community

Our Church, and the restoration it invites into our lives

The man who continues to love me despite my flawed self

The pleasure of giving love

And most of all (you guessed it), the Prince of Peace that calms my heart, and gives joy abundantly

Oh, and I can't forget the awesome pajamas that get pulled out this time of year!

I hope you all are enjoying this time as much as I am!